FRIENDS OF DOROTHY MONOLOGUES ACT I by A. Scott Boddie
Friends of Dorothy -- FOD. I first heard the expression when I was sixteen, and it wasn't until my twenties did I realize what it meant. I became a writer because words and the ways humans used them fascinated me. No matter what language, words are more dynamic than violence, more cohesive than rage, and satirically compelling.
FOD is a euphemism that originated during the Second World War. New York Socialite Dorothy Parker was an American poet with a close-knit of gay male friends in her social circle. If you were one of those fabulous gay men, you were referred to as a "friend of Dorothy."
Monologues are driven by characters thinking aloud, expressing their inner thoughts. Sometimes dramatic, sometimes humorous, the monologues in this collection are riddled with true situation, expressions, and voices. The monologues are about no one and regarding everyone, but they aren't for the faint of heart. They are gritty and unnerving, a wonderful insight into gay dimensions rarely given voice.
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EXCERPT:
Scene 3: An Unfinished Letter
My mother traded me. She gave me to her dealer for a bag of crystal meth when I was fourteen. He took me to get ice cream afterward and gave me three hundred dollars cash. My mother didn’t return home for three days, and when she did, I left for good. It took me five years to realize my mother had pimped me, and to this very day, she dictated how I would live my life. I gave in far too easily.
I lay in a New York City hospital bed in a dark, dank room reeking of Lysol, vomit and desperation, suffering from the many setbacks of full-blown AIDS, drug abuse, and the many side effects of the medications, but I’m only thinking of my mother. I laugh under my breath each time the nurse calls me Christopher or Mr. Johnson; I hardly recognize that name or person. I would’ve easily responded to a car honk or a head nod before my birth name.
When I flew away, I landed in Manhattan. On the first night, in the bus terminal of the Port Authority, I met a boy about my age who explained how I could get a good night’s sleep, food, and some cash. We walked down to the West Village and stood in front of a deli on the corner of Bleecker and Christopher Street, and my new friend taught me how to pick up men for money. My friend was an expert and taught me I didn’t have to like having sex with old men; I merely needed to be good at it. I tagged along on his first date to see what it required, and at the end of my first night, I had made five hundred dollars.
On the streets of New York, I quickly learned a good-looking, tall, and well-built young boy with beautiful black, curly hair and sparkling eyes could go far on little. My competitors were fair-haired young boys with cheeks of tan, but my exotic look melted the heart of every dirty old man that stopped to talk to me. For five years, I received many gifts from my patrons and some of them have metamorphosed into Pneumocystis Jiroveci Pneumonia, lesions, and Kaposi Sarcoma.
For the last two days, which I’m positive are my last, I have been thinking of my mother and the choices that have displaced me from her. The letter I’m attempting to write so far reads, Sorry.
My choices appear childlike, but they are mine and have shaped the person I am today. My single regret is not having a second chance to make things right with my mother.
For the first time I feel I could forgive her, tell her I hated her and she ruined my life. It’s time I accept my part of the shame. As the tears roll down my face and the familiar feeling of loneliness and anxiety all but consume me, I begin the letter to my mother again, I write one sentence and for the last time I give in, easily.
Hello Mother,
I’m sorry for all the tears I must’ve caused you, now and in the future; I blame you for nothing and forgive you for everything ...
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Showing posts with label A. Scott Boddie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A. Scott Boddie. Show all posts
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
CONVERSATIONS WITH SWISHY PETE VOLUME II by A. Scott Boddie
In this second collection of stories, the fabulous Swishy Pete and his cohorts double the funny. Don't worry, dolls -- each episode is better than the last. Revisit Delicious, Minnie, and Char as they delve deeper into their lives and the unique friendship they share. Join them in celebrating Chars' birthday as wackiness ensues and the comical Aunt Bessie is introduced. Conversations with Swishy Pete Volume II gathers together twelve flash fiction "episodes" featuring Swishy Pete and his friends as they dish on life in the Big Apple. Sometimes deep, often humorous, these short stories bring a fresh perspective that redefines GLBT stereotypes.
So, honey, come listen in as Pete tells it like it is.
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EXCERPT:
Episode 14: Laundry Day
“Delicious, I have a question, honey. Why are so many gay men afraid of their femininity?”
“Girl, where did that come from? Fold them clothes.”
“I'm doing it, but seriously, what’s that all about?”
“Minnie, gay men are the most affected of all God's creatures.”
“You're a big queen -- how did you deal with it?”
“I was termed F.Q.O.A. by my mother's best friend when I was six.”
“What?”
“Future queen of America, and I've held that crown proudly since 1974.”
“Did you get teased in school?”
“Girl, yeah, but no one put their hands on me.”
“You were a butch Queen.”
“Yes, ma'am, and I knew how to fight.”
“Your clothes are done.”
“Thanks, Minnie. Give me a quarter for the other dryer.”
“D, all this stuff about gay teen suicides and transphobia is crazy.”
“Why's this happening so much now? Bullying fags ain't new.”
“Did you hear about the two teenagers who went into the bathroom of a gay bar?”
“... And they beat up some little gay boy,” D added.
“Yeah, what was that all about?”
“Girl, beating up gays won't stop you from becoming one.”
“I heard that,” Minnie said.
“What else is going on, Ma?” D asked.
“My psychic told me to steer clear of water.”
“Is that why you smell like baby-farts?” D laughed.
“No, fool, she told me not to break anything.”
“Like what?”
“She's the psychic, not me, hello,” Minnie jeered.
“Are you done yet, Minnie?”
“No, I still have towels to fold.”
“Honey boo, why is you eating so much?” D asked.
“’Cause it’s mine, bitch.”
“Let me get this garbage together.”
“Finish this soda,” D told Minnie.
Minnie belched. “Excuse me.”
“I can see why the boys are knocking down your door,” Delicious said.
“What a stupid thing to say to someone.”
“Who should I be talking to?”
“Me,” Minnie admitted.
“Umm hum,” D hummed.
“Oh, D -- I know what I was going to say.”
“It better be about me.”
“Have you ever tried those geosocial apps?”
“Oh, please, I'm so sick of those apps, you can't meet anyone.”
“Why, D?”
“Girl, every other ad says not into gay lifestyle, not out, and the racist rant, no whites or fems.”
“With all the prejudice against the community, you would think gays were more open,” Minnie went on.
“Transphobia, too -- we can't expect them to embrace us if we can't embrace ourselves,” Delicious lectured.
“I love drag queens, they're the most honest.”
“Refold that fitted sheet. Why do you love them so much?”
“They live their lives out loud.”
“Trust, honey, they do,” D said.
“I've seen lesbian friends pull back when another morphs into male --”
“Minnie, is that dryer done?”
“Why do you keep cutting me off?”
“I'm bored.”
“That’s on you. My stories are fierce.”
“Minnie, you are so needy. Hit it, bitch,” Delicious hissed.
“Moes and lesbians, who are uncomfortable with Transwomen, are riddled with issues themselves.”
“Girl, some hedonistic gay men can't help it. I can't speak for lesbians,” D speculated.
“Why do gay men get a pass?”
“It's the same as slave mentality,” D argued.
“Don't do that.”
“What?”
“Go on. You know what I mean,” Minnie asserted.
“Back in the day, men who had sex with men weren't exclusively gay. They were married with kids,” Delicious explained.
“I'm waiting to jump in.”
“Minnie, almost all of them had to sneak out and find whatever hotspots to have sex with other men. There was no time for relationships.”
“I hope you're making a point soon,” Minnie hinted.
“I believe gay men still sneak out in the night to have sex with other men fearing relationships.”
“Why do they get a free pass?” Minnie repeated.
“Because it's not our fault. From the time we realized we were gay, we had to become the masters of hiding it and lying about it.”
“Okay, boo, it's starting to make sense.”
“Even in today's free world, we're still slaves.”
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Thursday, April 14, 2011
CONVERSATIONS WITH SWISHY PETE VOLUME I by A. Scott Boddie
The fabulous Swishy Pete lives in upper Manhattan with his brassy, sassy friends, Minnie, Char, and Delicious. You’ll recognize him the minute he opens his mouth. He’s out and proud, overly talkative, and in your face. A typical New Yorker, but as soon as you meet him, you will never forget him.
Conversations with Swishy Pete Volume I gathers together twelve flash fiction “episodes” featuring Swishy Pete and his friends as they dish on life in the Big Apple. Sometimes deep, often humorous, these short stories bring a fresh perspective that redefines GLBT stereotypes.
So, honey, come listen in as Pete tells it like it is.
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EXCERPT:
Episode 1: Introducing Swishy Pete
“If you want to know about me and my life,” Pete said as he blew dry the final coat of clear nail polish on his right hand, “please do not ask me what I do for a living.”
“If a man is interested in making your acquaintance, how should he proceed?” Minnie asked.
“Girl, Minnie, boo-boo, let me break it down to you. Suppose some hot ‘n’ sexy man walks up to you, right?”
“I ain’t feeling any men these days,” Minnie muttered, as she rolled her eyes.
“Alrighty then, say it’s Ms. Janet Jackson,” Pete sighed.
“She’s caught up with Ali Baba, so bump her, too,” Minnie replied.
“His name is Wissam Al Mana.”
“Whatever.”
“Girl,” Pete blew up, “if you don’t let me get this story out ...”
“I’m sorry, Swishy Pete,” Minnie said, sarcastic. “Get on with it, bitch.”
“When they ask what you do for a living, professionally, they’re summing you up based on your job title. Baby, I prefer to let them make something up and save me the worry. And don’t call me Swishy -- if I wanted to be insulted, I would call my father.”
“Hello, it’s a joke.” Minnie smirked. “If they don’t ask what you do for a living, how are they supposed to pass judgment and determine whether they like you?”
“Minnie, you can be so simple sometimes.” Pete stood. “Look at me, honey. Anyone worth knowing can see I’m fabulously complex.”
“Are you saying you’re transparent?” Minnie asked.
Pete folded his hands together in prayer. “See God in everyone. Okay -- let me come at this from a different direction. If you saw a homeless man, you wouldn’t need to know his professional occupation to know at least the obvious part of his story.”
“What if he’s not homeless but just a bad dresser?” Minnie asked.
“Don’t breathe, girl, or I’ll lose you,” Pete said crudely. “Instead of asking me what I do for a living, why not ask where I was born. Hello? Ask me, bitch.”
“Hey, Swishy Pete, where are you from, girlfriend?” Minnie laughed, barely able to get it all out. “Pardon me, sir, where y’all from?”
“Where am I from? How nice of you to ask.” Pete clutched his pearls. “I’m from Oklahoma. Now, Minnie -- what does that say to you about me?”
“Umm, growing up you we were not allowed to walk backward while eating a hamburger.”
“No, fool!” Pete yelled. “That’s only true in Oklahoma City. Oklahoma is a great Broadway musical, and it speaks of my yearning to be a stage actress. Next, I was born in the small city of Cherokee -- what do you think that says about me?”
“Oh, I know -- that you are an afro-descendant of Cherokee extraction, like BeyoncĂ©,” Minnie raved.
“No, that I performed the Cher song, ‘Half Breed,’ in drag back in the day at the club. Ho!”
“Donny and Marie,” their manager called, “your lunch breaks are over. Time to get back to work.”
“He ain’t all that just cause he’s the manager, and I don’t appreciate his tone,” Pete headed toward the back door of the restaurant after putting out his cigarette. “I could’ve been manager if I had finished college.”
“Is that why you don’t tell folks what you do for a living?” Minnie asked.
“Yep.” Pete held the door open for Minnie.
“Oh, cool. I just wanted to be clear on your process.”
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