Saturday, September 11, 2010

YOU LOST YOUR MARRIAGE NOT YOUR LIFE by Barbara Miller

YOU LOST YOUR MARRIAGE NOT YOUR LIFE
How to Create the Life You Want - Your Way! A Self-help book by Barbara Miller.

This is a story not unlike many women who have trusted and believed in the person they have committed their life to, only to have their faith shattered and life set on an unknown journey. The courage to find yourself, return to the core of your inner spirit, and learn to trust again will be the challenge. Barbara Miller will help you accomplish your goals with ways to take control of your life and gain a new sense of power as you enter your best life yet!

Learn to change behavior that sets you up for failed marriages and toxic relationships. Learn to cope with feelings of rage, anger, resentment and hate as you trust in your Higher Power to heal your soul.

Rid yourself of negative inner thoughts carried over from childhood that cripple personal growth and rob you of your joy. Enhance your self-image as you create balance and happiness in your life, mentally, physically, social-emotionally, and spiritually.

The freedom to grow, reach out, and be all you want to be is within your power! Take charge and find the confidence to live your life your way!

You Lost Your Marriage Not Your Life is a special message to women who have experienced the shock of losing their marriage and their lifestyle. You will learn to make right choices in order to create the life you want and so richly deserve-your way!

BUY THE BOOK *** READ THE EXCERPT *** WATCH THE TRAILER


Courage in the Face of Change

My life was going to change dramatically, and the reality
of what that meant had begun to take hold. I should have prepared
myself for the possibility of divorce. In the past, there had
been opportunities to stash some money away, but somehow it
seemed dishonest and unnecessary. What was I to do? Where
was I to turn? I was so frightened. Thank God, I had one credit
card in my name that he could not cancel. The money from
my mother would arrive in the morning, and would carry me for
a little while. Once my husband had more time to think things
through, I was still sure he would change his mind.

Where reality was in all of this, I did not know. All I could
focus on was how to turn back the clock and fix this horrible
nightmare. I started by calling his best friend. After tearfully pouring
out the details of the last twenty-four hours, his friend kept
saying, “I cannot believe it; I just cannot believe it. I assure you,
Barbara, I did not know anything about this. He never discussed
your marriage problems with me at any time. I am almost as
shocked as you are. I promise I will try to talk to him.” During the
next conversation I had with him several days later, I was told, “I
am sorry, Barbara, but I just do not want to be involved.”

Do not expect friends to fix your problems or intervene in
your personal affairs. They can listen and advise, but ultimately,
your own personal life’s situation rests with you and you alone.
My closest friends tried to intervene and persuade my husband
to reconsider his decision. They expressed my deep sorrow at
losing him, assuring him that I was willing to do whatever he
wanted if he would only give our marriage another chance.

* * *
He finally agreed to attend three counseling sessions to
see if there was any hope of reconciliation. I was not sure as
to why he chose the number three, but I was willing to agree
to even one, if there was any chance at all to convince him to
come back home. I did not believe he thought there was even
a remote chance for reconciliation. He was simply placating me
in an effort to get a speedy, more amiable divorce and to ease
his conscience.

I don’t remember much about the session, except that my
husband kept insisting he had done nothing wrong, and I was
the one who needed to change. When the counselor began
questioning him more in-depth about his motive for seeking a
divorce, he became defensive and insisted that divorce was his
only alternative. When she asked him why he had agreed to
have counseling, he replied that he believed it was what most
people did when they were getting a divorce.

She gave us a homework assignment and he agreed to follow
through, on her direction. We were to meet for dinner, either
out someplace at a quiet restaurant or at my home. He said he
would come to the house for dinner.

* * *
I was ecstatic as I prepared his favorite meal, complete with
dessert. I cleaned the house until it was spotless and dimmed
the lights. Candles were burning and soft music was playing in
the background. I wore the sexiest clothes I could find, choosing
a look that was casual but seductive.

After he arrived, and we were eating dinner, I asked him
how I could change to be more like what he wanted. I could tell
he was preoccupied and really did not want to be there at all.
Finally, I asked, “Why did you come here tonight?”

“Well, I promised the counselor I would follow her instructions,
so I wanted to keep my word,” he explained. “I cannot
stay long; I have to do my rounding yet. We have two more
appointments, so I will see you again in two days.” With that, he
got up to leave.

I began to cry and begged him to stay, but it was no use.
I sat down and looked at the half-eaten dinner, the beautiful
candles glowing, and I felt like I was the loneliest person in the
entire world.

* * *
The second counseling session was similar to the first.
Our next assignment was to take place over dinner in a quiet
restaurant of his choosing. We were to discuss what actually
led to his decision to leave. He was so subdued a conversation
was difficult. He finally admitted he did not know how he had
let things go so far, but insisted he would not change his mind.
When I asked him what he met meant by “let things go so far,”
he said he could not say.

He then informed me that he would not attend the third
session. I felt such pain in my heart; I thought I would surely die.
He then got up, took out money to pay the check, and walked
away. I sat there for the longest time, thinking maybe he would
come back and finish dinner with me, but he did not return.

I pondered the comment he made about how he had let
things go so far and wondered what exactly that meant. Did
he mean going so far as to moving out of the house or filing for
divorce? Then I had another thought: Surely he did not mean
he had gotten involved with another woman. That just could not
have happened. We had always talked about the dangers for
doctors of women who would go to great lengths to strike up an
affair and snag a doctor away from his wife. But he absolutely
would not have allowed such a terrible thing to happen to us. Of
that I was certain.

Suddenly I felt total panic; I could not allow myself to sit
there another second. I had to get out of there and go home.
Since he did mention “letting things go so far,” maybe he would
really think hard about his decision and change his mind. At that
point, I was still certain he would make the right decision and
come home.

LIKED THE EXCERPT??? CLICK HERE TO BUY THE BOOK

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