In this second collection of stories, the fabulous Swishy Pete and his cohorts double the funny. Don't worry, dolls -- each episode is better than the last. Revisit Delicious, Minnie, and Char as they delve deeper into their lives and the unique friendship they share. Join them in celebrating Chars' birthday as wackiness ensues and the comical Aunt Bessie is introduced. Conversations with Swishy Pete Volume II gathers together twelve flash fiction "episodes" featuring Swishy Pete and his friends as they dish on life in the Big Apple. Sometimes deep, often humorous, these short stories bring a fresh perspective that redefines GLBT stereotypes.
So, honey, come listen in as Pete tells it like it is.
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EXCERPT:
Episode 14: Laundry Day
“Delicious, I have a question, honey. Why are so many gay men afraid of their femininity?”
“Girl, where did that come from? Fold them clothes.”
“I'm doing it, but seriously, what’s that all about?”
“Minnie, gay men are the most affected of all God's creatures.”
“You're a big queen -- how did you deal with it?”
“I was termed F.Q.O.A. by my mother's best friend when I was six.”
“What?”
“Future queen of America, and I've held that crown proudly since 1974.”
“Did you get teased in school?”
“Girl, yeah, but no one put their hands on me.”
“You were a butch Queen.”
“Yes, ma'am, and I knew how to fight.”
“Your clothes are done.”
“Thanks, Minnie. Give me a quarter for the other dryer.”
“D, all this stuff about gay teen suicides and transphobia is crazy.”
“Why's this happening so much now? Bullying fags ain't new.”
“Did you hear about the two teenagers who went into the bathroom of a gay bar?”
“... And they beat up some little gay boy,” D added.
“Yeah, what was that all about?”
“Girl, beating up gays won't stop you from becoming one.”
“I heard that,” Minnie said.
“What else is going on, Ma?” D asked.
“My psychic told me to steer clear of water.”
“Is that why you smell like baby-farts?” D laughed.
“No, fool, she told me not to break anything.”
“Like what?”
“She's the psychic, not me, hello,” Minnie jeered.
“Are you done yet, Minnie?”
“No, I still have towels to fold.”
“Honey boo, why is you eating so much?” D asked.
“’Cause it’s mine, bitch.”
“Let me get this garbage together.”
“Finish this soda,” D told Minnie.
Minnie belched. “Excuse me.”
“I can see why the boys are knocking down your door,” Delicious said.
“What a stupid thing to say to someone.”
“Who should I be talking to?”
“Me,” Minnie admitted.
“Umm hum,” D hummed.
“Oh, D -- I know what I was going to say.”
“It better be about me.”
“Have you ever tried those geosocial apps?”
“Oh, please, I'm so sick of those apps, you can't meet anyone.”
“Why, D?”
“Girl, every other ad says not into gay lifestyle, not out, and the racist rant, no whites or fems.”
“With all the prejudice against the community, you would think gays were more open,” Minnie went on.
“Transphobia, too -- we can't expect them to embrace us if we can't embrace ourselves,” Delicious lectured.
“I love drag queens, they're the most honest.”
“Refold that fitted sheet. Why do you love them so much?”
“They live their lives out loud.”
“Trust, honey, they do,” D said.
“I've seen lesbian friends pull back when another morphs into male --”
“Minnie, is that dryer done?”
“Why do you keep cutting me off?”
“I'm bored.”
“That’s on you. My stories are fierce.”
“Minnie, you are so needy. Hit it, bitch,” Delicious hissed.
“Moes and lesbians, who are uncomfortable with Transwomen, are riddled with issues themselves.”
“Girl, some hedonistic gay men can't help it. I can't speak for lesbians,” D speculated.
“Why do gay men get a pass?”
“It's the same as slave mentality,” D argued.
“Don't do that.”
“What?”
“Go on. You know what I mean,” Minnie asserted.
“Back in the day, men who had sex with men weren't exclusively gay. They were married with kids,” Delicious explained.
“I'm waiting to jump in.”
“Minnie, almost all of them had to sneak out and find whatever hotspots to have sex with other men. There was no time for relationships.”
“I hope you're making a point soon,” Minnie hinted.
“I believe gay men still sneak out in the night to have sex with other men fearing relationships.”
“Why do they get a free pass?” Minnie repeated.
“Because it's not our fault. From the time we realized we were gay, we had to become the masters of hiding it and lying about it.”
“Okay, boo, it's starting to make sense.”
“Even in today's free world, we're still slaves.”
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