AS ADVERTISED by Jamie Samms

AS ADVERTISED by Jaime Samms

Tyler should know; as an ad executive, the packaging is what sells. And Jake is quite a package. So what if neither long-time friend Marty nor his landlady think much of Jake. Tyler is determined not to see the dark side of his lover, but when the truth becomes undeniable not even a evening soaked in martinis will let him hide from it.

Weathering Jake's lies and secrets gets easier under the sheltering support of new friends, Libby and Steven. In fact, Tyler figures a lot of things might get easier with gorgeous, attentive Steven around.

Tyler should have known better. Again. Not even someone as seemingly perfect as Steven Jessop comes completely as advertised. This time, though, Tyler has to make a decision. After all, even if what you see is not what you get, Steven's imperfections might just be what he's always wanted, if only he can sell Steven on giving love another chance.

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As Advertised
Copyright © 2011 Jaime Samms

All rights reserved, Freya's Bower.




By reading this excerpt, you are stating that you are at least 18 years of age. If you are younger than 18 years old, you must exit this site at once.


When Tyler knocked on Jake’s door, said assistant, a new, doe-eyed, fresh-out-of-school kid with blond hair hanging in his pale face, opened it, muttered something about being delivered, and scampered from the room. Tyler couldn’t help but notice he had already ditched his jacket and his tie was crooked

“What did you do to that poor thing?” he asked, setting Jake’s coffee on his desk.

The other man was standing at the window glaring down at the traffic. “Took you bloody long enough.” He snatched up the coffee and punched the tab open. “I haven’t done anything to him. Yet.”

“Maynard’s going to have a fit if you scare off another assistant.”

“Maynard can—”

“Go fuck myself?” Maynard’s voice held just enough sarcasm to bite.

Both Jake and Tyler turned as their boss entered the room.

“Morning, boys,” Maynard said.

Tyler nodded; Jake glared.

“I just had a conversation with Adam, Jake.”

Jake grunted and turned back to the window.

“If you might refrain from molesting your assistants, it would be appreciated.”

“Excuse me?” Tyler took a small step forward. “I’m sure there’s some misunderstand—”

“It was a little tap on the ass,” Jake said. “He needs to get over himself. Send him back here, Maynard. I’ll behave.”

“I’d appreciate it.” Maynard turned to Tyler. “And you. I want to talk to you about Steven Jessop’s party tonight. I’ll come by your office.”

Tyler managed to hold in the heavy sigh he felt building. “Sure. I’ll be there in a few.”

Maynard left, and Tyler waited a beat, hoping Jake might explain what had just happened. When the silence stretched, he finally spoke up. “Tap on the ass?”

“You need to not make a thing over this, Ty.”

“I’ll be in my office.” Tyler took his coffee and his pricked ego and left Jake staring out the window.

His gut told him there was more than one grope behind Adam’s hasty retreat, but his head told his gut to shut the fuck up and get to work. He had no interest in his heart pleading not to be a damn fool. Instead, he buried himself so deeply in a new ad campaign that Maynard’s knock on his open door a half hour later made him jump.

“Tyler. Got a minute?”

“No.”

“About this party. I assume you’re going?” Maynard sauntered in and perched on the corner of the desk. His cheek pinched up the corner of Tyler’s draft, causing a pulse of irritation to pump through Tyler and leave behind a grimace.

“Maybe.”

“Well, go. I want you to feel Jessop out. Or up. Whatever it takes. He has a lot of advertising money to spend, and I want him to spend it here. Get him to consider our firm, sell him on us, and the account’s yours.”

“And here I thought you were just out to take a load off my mind. Tell me to go out, have fun, relax.”

“‘Scuse me?”

“Nothing.”

“Good. Let me know how it goes.” He didn’t wait for a response, no doubt fully expecting Tyler to just agree. At the door, he stopped, turning with a twisted smile on his face. “And have fun, Tyler. Maybe even get laid. Be good for you.”

Jackass.

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CONVERSATIONS WITH SWISHY PETE VOLUME II by A. Scott Boddie

CONVERSATIONS WITH SWISHY PETE VOLUME II by A. Scott Boddie

In this second collection of stories, the fabulous Swishy Pete and his cohorts double the funny. Don't worry, dolls -- each episode is better than the last. Revisit Delicious, Minnie, and Char as they delve deeper into their lives and the unique friendship they share. Join them in celebrating Chars' birthday as wackiness ensues and the comical Aunt Bessie is introduced.

Conversations with Swishy Pete Volume II gathers together twelve flash fiction "episodes" featuring Swishy Pete and his friends as they dish on life in the Big Apple. Sometimes deep, often humorous, these short stories bring a fresh perspective that redefines GLBT stereotypes.

So, honey, come listen in as Pete tells it like it is.

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EXCERPT:


Episode 14: Laundry Day

“Delicious, I have a question, honey. Why are so many gay men afraid of their femininity?”

“Girl, where did that come from? Fold them clothes.”

“I'm doing it, but seriously, what’s that all about?”

“Minnie, gay men are the most affected of all God's creatures.”

“You're a big queen -- how did you deal with it?”

“I was termed F.Q.O.A. by my mother's best friend when I was six.”

“What?”

“Future queen of America, and I've held that crown proudly since 1974.”

“Did you get teased in school?”

“Girl, yeah, but no one put their hands on me.”

“You were a butch Queen.”

“Yes, ma'am, and I knew how to fight.”

“Your clothes are done.”

“Thanks, Minnie. Give me a quarter for the other dryer.”

“D, all this stuff about gay teen suicides and transphobia is crazy.”

“Why's this happening so much now? Bullying fags ain't new.”

“Did you hear about the two teenagers who went into the bathroom of a gay bar?”

“... And they beat up some little gay boy,” D added.

“Yeah, what was that all about?”

“Girl, beating up gays won't stop you from becoming one.”

“I heard that,” Minnie said.

“What else is going on, Ma?” D asked.

“My psychic told me to steer clear of water.”

“Is that why you smell like baby-farts?” D laughed.

“No, fool, she told me not to break anything.”

“Like what?”

“She's the psychic, not me, hello,” Minnie jeered.

“Are you done yet, Minnie?”

“No, I still have towels to fold.”

“Honey boo, why is you eating so much?” D asked.

“’Cause it’s mine, bitch.”

“Let me get this garbage together.”

“Finish this soda,” D told Minnie.

Minnie belched. “Excuse me.”

“I can see why the boys are knocking down your door,” Delicious said.

“What a stupid thing to say to someone.”

“Who should I be talking to?”

“Me,” Minnie admitted.

“Umm hum,” D hummed.

“Oh, D -- I know what I was going to say.”

“It better be about me.”

“Have you ever tried those geosocial apps?”

“Oh, please, I'm so sick of those apps, you can't meet anyone.”

“Why, D?”

“Girl, every other ad says not into gay lifestyle, not out, and the racist rant, no whites or fems.”

“With all the prejudice against the community, you would think gays were more open,” Minnie went on.

“Transphobia, too -- we can't expect them to embrace us if we can't embrace ourselves,” Delicious lectured.

“I love drag queens, they're the most honest.”

“Refold that fitted sheet. Why do you love them so much?”

“They live their lives out loud.”

“Trust, honey, they do,” D said.

“I've seen lesbian friends pull back when another morphs into male --”

“Minnie, is that dryer done?”

“Why do you keep cutting me off?”

“I'm bored.”

“That’s on you. My stories are fierce.”

“Minnie, you are so needy. Hit it, bitch,” Delicious hissed.

“Moes and lesbians, who are uncomfortable with Transwomen, are riddled with issues themselves.”

“Girl, some hedonistic gay men can't help it. I can't speak for lesbians,” D speculated.

“Why do gay men get a pass?”

“It's the same as slave mentality,” D argued.

“Don't do that.”

“What?”

“Go on. You know what I mean,” Minnie asserted.

“Back in the day, men who had sex with men weren't exclusively gay. They were married with kids,” Delicious explained.

“I'm waiting to jump in.”

“Minnie, almost all of them had to sneak out and find whatever hotspots to have sex with other men. There was no time for relationships.”

“I hope you're making a point soon,” Minnie hinted.

“I believe gay men still sneak out in the night to have sex with other men fearing relationships.”

“Why do they get a free pass?” Minnie repeated.

“Because it's not our fault. From the time we realized we were gay, we had to become the masters of hiding it and lying about it.”

“Okay, boo, it's starting to make sense.”

“Even in today's free world, we're still slaves.”

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