Excerpt:
The clock below stairs chimed once, then
twice. Miss Elenora Schwaab would arrive at any moment. Sure enough, the bell
rang in the front hall and shortly after, I met the woman in my library where
Mrs. Fletcher had deposited her.
In a color scheme that would have
inspired Pierre-Auguste Renoir to fetch a blank canvas, she wore a
cream-and-blue cotton confection accented by a blue-and-cream rose-bedecked
bonnet, reticule, and parasol. Excitement shone brightly in eyes the pale turquoise-blue
of a clear autumn sky. Ripping off her cream lace gloves, she jumped from her
chair to thrust her hand at me. “Sir Nicolas! Thank you for receiving me on
such short notice.”
Americans.
Chuckling to myself, I bowed over her smaller hand. “Miss Schwaab, what a
pleasure to see you again.” They had the oddest mannerisms. Not rude, exactly;
rather forthright without the stodgier affectations of the Empire. On the
whole, Americans reminded me of impressionist artists. The artists violated the
rules of academic painting, and Americans violated the rules of
conventionality. As a student of nuance, I very much liked it.
Mrs. Fletcher entered with the tea.
Addressing my guest she said, “I wasn’t sure if you’d like lemon or milk, Miss,
so I’ve set the tray with both.”
“Why, thank you ma’am.”
The housekeeper turned to me with a
smile sparkling in her eyes. I could tell the sparkle came from being addressed
formally when she considered herself only a housekeeper. She said, “And that bread is warm from the oven as you
like it, and the butter’s fresh from
the dairyman this morning. Is there anything else, Master Nicolas?”
“No dear, this is quite fine. Thank
you.”
Alone now, I buttered my bread and
addressed the lady busily adjusting her tea to taste. “So Miss Schwaab, you say
you’ve a venture in mind…”
“Please, Sir Nicolas. Call me Ellie as
all my friends do.”
I smiled at what she implied. I could
certainly see us as friends. “Very well, how can I be of service, Ellie?” I
took a bite and nearly choked at her next words.
“To be blunt Sir, I’m in need of a
mandrake. I need you.”
My mind raced. The chit was declaring me
homosexual. “I beg your pardon?”
She smiled a rather unsettling sentient
smile. And in those pale intelligent eyes, I could see her thoughts forming
like clouds before a rainstorm. In fact, I could almost smell the ozone in the
burning machinery of her mind. When she spoke, her thoughts were perfectly
ordered.
“I’m not one to beat around the bush,
Sir Nicolas. Not being forthright wastes time, and time may very well be short.
Last June, I overheard a rather intimate verbal exchange between you and
another man. I didn’t see who he was exactly, but I did see you.”
I felt a hollow sensation in my chest.
In it, I could hear the echo of my up-tempo heartbeat. “Miss Schwaab, I—”
She held up a hand to interrupt me.
“Please, hear me out. I consider myself to be a progressive. You see, I don’t
care what adults do behind closed doors. An individual’s nature and sexuality
form the most intrinsic core of their person. And who are we to take issue with
another’s nature? Only a fool would see one path to human intimacy. We are naked apes after all, and apes have
no issue with homosexuality.”
I couldn’t fault her logic. “So, what do
you propose Miss Schwaab? Blackmail?”
Though my obvious concern wasn’t humorous in the least, she laughed merrily.
“Please, call me Ellie.”
“Ellie. I believe that was a reasonable
question.”
The same smile was back and with it,
sparkling eyes. “I want you to marry me.”
Completely dumbfounded, I just looked at
her. “You can’t be serious Miss…”
“Ellie.”
“You can’t be serious, Ellie.”
Her laugh was filled with mirth. “Oh,
but I am!”
Finding that impish gleam in her eye
irritating in that moment, I set my plate aside. In my mind, this meeting could
go one of two ways — she’d out me for a sodomite if I didn’t do as she asked,
or I’d be saddled with an insane wife. While Parliament abolished the death
penalty for deviants like me years before I was born, my truth wasn’t fodder
for the masses. “You have me at a disadvantage, madam. What madness would spur
you to make such an outlandish proposal?”
She set her cup down and leaned forward
as a man might when sharing an inside stock tip. I found myself oddly attracted
to her forthright and almost mannish American attitudes. Looking me square in
the eye, she said, “You are an authority on Leonardo da Vinci, correct?”
“On his artworks, I am.”
“Then I assume you are familiar with Gian Giacomo Caprotti da
Oreno?”
I suppressed a smile at her halting Italian. Gian Giacomo Caprotti
was da Vinci’s protégé. Affectionately called Salai or the little devil
by the master himself, it was said when Leonardo painted nudes and phalluses,
they were modeled by his young lover Salai. The most telling of these — the
sketch called Angelo-Incarnato or
Angel Incarnate, which depicts the little devil himself with a substantial
erection. On the back, da Vinci wrote
out his turbulent feelings for the young man in Greek: astrapen, bronten, and ceraunobolian. His metaphoric choices
literally translated: lightning, storms, and thunderbolts. I nodded.
She smiled. “And I assume, although not in your field of
expertise, you must also be aware of such erotic artworks as Japanese pillow
books and the Kama Sutra. One chapter
of which was so recently translated by your celebrated orientalist, what’s the fellow’s name?”
Field
of expertise? I took her question to mean I was
unaccustomed to erotic works depicting women.
Beyond my proclivity and given profession, of course I knew of these ancient
works of erotica. I named the man for her, “Sir Richard Francis Burton—”
She cut in, “Yes, that’s the man!”
“And yes, I am aware of such books.” It was obvious when her pretty smile
widened that she could see she’d hooked me like a trout. In fact, I had the
impression this woman had somehow studied me at length. Though my interest was
piqued, I couldn’t fathom what she was driving at, nor could I see a connection
between ancient Asian renderings and da Vinci’s longtime lover… let alone a connection to a proposal of
marriage to me. “And what does Salai
have to do with these works?”
She smiled that smile again and this
time I was met with a sense of familiarity I couldn’t quite identify, like
there was more to it than what was seen upon the surface. My focus redirected
when she explained, “My father is in the American Consul, you see. And now with
my elder sister Luise Marie wed to Jean-Paul, I’ve become my father’s hostess when he entertains here. I
don’t mind it, though listening to men talk trade and commerce mostly bores me.
Anyway, enough about that.” She waved her hand and shook her head, as if
determined not to go off point. “The other night my sister and her husband
joined us when we entertained an Italian merchant and his relation by marriage.
The former, a Signore Ambrosini, deals
in raw fibers such as cotton and jute from India and is seeking business
relations in the New York textile industry. I found him a likeable man.
The latter... well, there was just something not quite right about him. His name
is Carlo Posateri. He…”
My
mind could barely keep up with the twists and turns Miss Schwaab’s mind was
wont to take. Then too, I was somewhat
surprised that this conversation was being piloted by a woman at all. Women of
my acquaintance steered clear of most sexual topics, though every one of them
would perk if the focus of conversation leaned in that direction. Sifting
through her rambling recount of that night, I learned this Signore Posateri
hated all things homosexual in nature, including the works of the masters.
Apparently the man took pride in influencing Pope Pius IX to castrate the statues in the Vatican for the homosexual
thoughts they provoked. Out of sight out of mind, I’d say, or a gloss on the
phrase Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet: The
man doth protest too much, methinks.
In my experience, them that had the most to say against a thing often
coveted that very thing. Her next words pulled me
from my contemplation.
“To put it simply, I plan to steal it.”
I stared at her dumbly having not fully listened to what preceded
that statement. Eyeing me suspiciously, her pretty bowed lips took on a frown
when she reproached, “Oh fiddlesticks. You weren’t
even listening. Have you no concept how important
this work is to humanity?”
Chastened that her winding road of a tale had lulled my mind, I
ate the crow. “Forgive me Miss… ” — her eyes narrowed, causing me to amend — “Ellie. My mind was lost on the man’s
contribution to the Vatican’s defiled statues. Please, if you would, back up a
bit and explain it again.”
She took a breath. I was struck by the curious glint of sympathy
shining in her pale blue eyes and the faint blush that signaled ire or
embarrassment. Unacquainted with her as I was, I stabbed in the dark and took
the blush for the latter. My thought was proved right when she said sincerely,
“I know I ramble when my head is so
full of details, and I apologize. I really do. But please, bear with me if you
will.”
“You’ll have my undivided attention, I assure you.”
Ellie brightened and launched into it again. “Alright then.
Signore Posateri boasted of his measures to rid the world of artworks created
by the greatest artists of the Renaissance. Jean-Paul got him to admit he buys
them from private collections and destroys them, you see. When asked about pieces
that were not purchasable, he said he ‘has his methods,’ which I take to mean
he steals them or has thieves in his
employ, the sanctimonious cur... ” Her words trailed off.
I stared at her expectantly.
Exhaling sharply in what could only be annoyance, she continued,
“At this very moment in Venice, somewhere
in his palazzo, he has in his
possession a previously undiscovered book written and illustrated by Leonardo
da Vinci’s own hand.”
Of all the things I thought she’d say, that was not one of them. “Oh?”
She nodded. “Yes, created by da Vinci for Salai. It’s a book of
love, Sir Nicolas — a pillow book that managed to remain hidden for four
hundred years!”
Knowing the mind and desire of the artist like I did, I could
almost see this book. “Such a thing is entirely
possible.”
My words brought about her effervescent smile. She asked, “Wasn’t
Salai with him a long time?”
“At least twenty-five years. Salai inherited many of da Vinci’s works. How did you come upon
this information? Surely they didn’t discuss this topic in your presence?”
She dug through her reticule and scoffed, “As if they would. No,
when I left the men to their brandy last night, I stood just outside the door
adjusting the strap on my shoe under the pretense I’d lost a button, you see. I
chanced to hear Signore Posateri speaking of this book.” Pulling a folded paper
from her bag, she read, “And I quote, ‘Although unsigned, in breadth and scope,
there is no question this was Leonardo da Vinci’s book. It is clearly the work
of a sodomite. The disgusting words of his twisted affection made more foul by
the accompanying sketches.’ Galling, his hatred.”
Needing more to fully comprehend, I urged, “Go on. What else did
you overhear?”
“In the conversation that followed I could tell Signore Ambrosini
was put aback by his companion’s rabid fanaticism. Then I heard Jean-Paul ask
him what he intended to do with it.” She read from her notes, “He said, ‘After
I study it to better know the minds of these repugnant artists, I will burn it
with the rest, of course.’”
She met my eyes, her fair cheeks flushed in her pique. For reasons
unclear, John Opie’s oil painting of Boadicea Haranguing the Britons came to
mind. She said, “Burn it! Can you just imagine the loss, Sir Nicolas? Jean-Paul
was beside himself over the idea; he even offered to buy it. But the man said
he’d never sell it at any cost.”
After I study it… The man’s words confirmed
my earlier opinion. Signore Posateri was himself a homosexual — if not in deed,
then certainly in desire. I nodded, “I agree. It would be terrible loss.”
“That is why I have
plans to steal it.”
I stared at her and she suddenly
laughed. “Oh you think me mad, don’t you? You
do. I can see it in your eyes!” She leaned forward and looked at me with
interest, as if she half expected me to admit that I did indeed question her
stability. How quickly she went from John Opie’s warrior queen to James
Tissot’s Young Woman in a Boat. The astute little imp made me
smile despite myself. “I admit I do. And where exactly do I fit into this
insanity?”
“I’ve come here because time is of the
essence. Signore Posateri will be leaving for Venice at the end of the week.
And if we leave tomorrow, the day after, at the latest—”
“I still don’t see my presence in this
scheme of yours.”
Ellie sighed. Her earlier words about
wasting time came back to me. I wasn’t trying to be obtuse but for the life of
me I just didn’t see it. I asked her to explain how she figured I fit her plan.
She said, “You have your influence,
being an Earl and all. You’re in the House of Lords. We can use your academic
standing and income to save these precious artworks from being destroyed by
this fanatic, for surely he is in possession of more than one. You know
Leonardo da Vinci’s works. You’ll know at a glance if Signore Posateri is correct
in his assumption that this is indeed Salai’s pillow book.” When I didn’t
comment she added, “Look, I know you barely know me, but I know you, and I’m
completely alright with it.”
“Alright with it?”
“Yes.”
She reached across the distance between
us to briefly place a small warm hand over mine in a comfortable gesture which
I recognized as sincerity. I had an idea of what she meant, but needed
clarification. It wouldn’t do to guess wrongly. “You’re referring to my
particular predilection?”
“Yes.”
I rubbed the point between my eyes.
She asked, “As a friend, may I leave
your title aside and call you Nicolas?” At my nod she continued. “Nicolas, I’m
no fool. For all that I’m a progressive woman: I live in a man’s world. And
while society may change in the future, I’m hindered in the here and now. It
would be difficult to travel on my own, and certainly tracking down homoerotic
artworks would be next to impossible for a woman. I wouldn’t even know how to ask about them; trained proficient I’m
not. Were we to marry, I see advantage for the both of us outside this
venture.”
“Advantage?”
“Yes, you’ll be free to love who you
will without society casting rude speculations your way. And aside from my
being free to be who I am, I’ll
benefit by a social standing that will allow me to affect change from within society.”
I considered her a moment. Miss Elenora
Schwaab was an extremely pleasant-looking young woman with her wise blue eyes
and cinnamon hair. She was fit and fashionable, and without a doubt a
highly-educated and intelligent person. Her ready humor and matter-of-factness
were also quite appealing. Yes, I could see myself enjoying this woman’s
companionship if nothing else.
Running down a list of potential
advantages of marrying someone not shocked or repulsed by my nature, I
surprised myself by finding her proposal no less than brilliant. Many marriages
started with far less. Still, there was one bit that must be addressed. It had
always been my understanding that one day I’d be pressed to marry and sire children.
When one inherits the title of Earl, especially a Halstead Earl, there are
responsibilities one must naturally live up to. But until that hourglass ran
out, I considered myself free to love and enjoy whom I would. To be fair she’d
have to be told. “I must tell you that I have obligations to my title and
estate. These obligations would necessitate my producing an heir in the
future.”
My wording was met by a brief frown. I
could see she hadn’t considered such an intimacy between us were we to marry as
she proposed. This was confirmed by her next words. “But wouldn’t that be
imposs… that is to say… I mean… oh fiddlesticks.
But you don’t enjoy women that way.”
Summoning my straight-faced composure, I
said, “We British are nothing if not dutiful. Perhaps with the lights off.” Her
expression priceless, I laughed. “I’m teasing you, my dear. Actually, I’ve
never attempted to make love to a woman. And truth be told, I don’t see that
happening for a good many years yet.”
Something akin to relief shown in her
eyes, suggesting if she had say in the matter it would be a long ways into the
far-distant future. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it but didn’t have too much
time to contemplate my curious reaction to her relief, for next she blurted,
“Then lights on or off, we’ll cross that bridge as it comes. Let’s marry
straightaway.”
My earlier opinion fortified. The
unflappable Ellie Schwaab, late of America, was indeed bold-as-brass. There was
no denying this outrageous proposition made sense. For one, it negated the need
for an awkward conversation with a future wife, for surely Ellie was one of a
kind. I’d be, as she said, Free to love
whom I will. I found myself liking the idea very much. If nothing else it
would stop the parade of marriageable young women thrust my way at every social
gathering. I nodded. “It does make good sense doesn’t it?”
“It does, and I assure you I’ve come to
this opinion from every angle.” She gave me a brilliant smile and laid her hand
back on mine. This time she left it there. I covered it with my own. And that’s
exactly how Grannie found us when she walked into the room.
“You’ve obviously something to tell me,
Nicolas,” my grandmother said without preamble, an unmistakable glint of joy in
her albescent eyes.
Rising, I brought Ellie to stand beside
me, hooking her arm in mine in what I hoped would be a convincing display of
affection. I said, “Grannie, may I introduce my fiancée, Miss Elenora Schwaab,
daughter of Mitchel Schwaab, the American Consul to her Majesty. Ellie, may I
introduce you to Countess Lady Augusta Halstead, my grandmother.”
Her hand thrust forward in that very
American gesture and had my grandmother bubbling with charmed delight. To my
surprise, Ellie not only had a fair working knowledge of me, she knew about my
family. When my Grannie incorrectly deduced our love began at Lady Margaret
Eastlake’s garden party a year ago, neither of us dissuaded her. The cover was
brilliant, and I was once more taken with Ellie’s quick intelligence. In short
order I’d become quite fond of her. This might work out well after all.
Somewhat surprised to see an expression
that was at once both delighted and relieved, I met Grannie’s eyes over my
recently acquired fiancé’s head and winked at her. I could almost see the
visions of babies forming above the dear old woman’s very large hat.
What does an immortal Native American shaman do when the grave he’s sworn to watch over for all eternity disappears under urban development?
